Spring Into Action

It seems with the advent of spring individuals think about all of the things they want to change in their life. Call it self spring cleaning. We look at our romances and decide whether it needs refreshing or a whole new look. If you’re single, you may hope that this spring or summer you’ll meet someone special. No way do you want to go through another summer without that someone special by your side.

However, it’s pretty difficult to conjure up a significant relationship without some new ideas. Where do you meet that special someone? Should you look online, depend on friends to set you up, or simply rely on meeting someone in the bar when you’re out with your friends. Today it seems ever more diffiuclt to meet people when we’re out. After all they could be a stalker - even though there really aren’t that many of those.

Wherever you meet that new individual you run the risk of being attracted to the same type of person or the exact opposite of our last fiasco. Instead, how about you work on changing the parts of yourself that keep attracting the worst person possible. Things may seem great in the beginning, they always do, however, as the relationship develops you begin to realize you’re upset.

The issues you fight about may have changed but the way in which you resolve the conflict remained the same. Maybe, you avoid saying how you feel until things get so bad that you just explode. Or, you find that you engage in behaviors that purposely piss off your partner. Why can’t you just stop and feel better about each other!

We spend a great deal of time getting ourselves in physical shape for bikini season. But, don’t pay attention to getting our relationship skills in shape for dating season. You might think you don’t need to change yourself instead you just need the right partner. Why keep spending time investing in relationships that will end up with the same outcome. Take charge of yourself and your emotional health by uncovering your unhealthy patterns. Rather, learn some healthy interpersonal skills and try them out along with your new toned body this spring!

Therapy can help. Call or email today at (312)955-0319 or info@greaterchicagocounselingcenter

Millennials Managing their Parents

This topic typically belongs to an older generation than late 20 or early 30 year old’s. The “Millennials” issues should lean toward professional development, getting married, household formation or having children rather than needing to care give their parents. However, more and more of this generation prematurely tend to their parents many needs from addiction to financial chaos.

Many individuals perceive Millennials as a spoiled generation. “They’ve been handed everything they need and still feel entitled to ask for more.” Perhaps this applies to some of them. But, honestly it doesn’t seem to fit with many millennials I know in my private life or those that I treat in my office. Rather, as a group they seem quite anxious and worried about whether they match up to those around them.

Contrary to popular belief many Millennials seem very hard working. Yes, they expect work/life balance but we’ve been harping on that concept for such a long time I don’t know why they wouldn’t want that in their life. Millennials have lived through a recession and saw many a parent lose their job. So, wanting a solid profession is commendable.

What Millennials haven’t bargained for is their parents retiring early without having the funds to back up their plan. The “Great Generation” was very nervous about money because they lived through the Depression. Many of them still weren’t prepared enough for their retirement but many more were than the 6o plus group. Baby Boomers didn’t expect their savings to crash or to be displaced from their careers at such early ages.

So, the Millennials find themselves more akin to the sandwich generation who also make big decisions about their parents. Millennial’s worry whether they can financially support themselves while simultaneously helping their 60/70 year old parents. It seems like the parents are abusing the good nature and hard work of their children disregarding the anxiety and extreme worry that it is causing them.

The drug abuse is another issue. These are the children of the 60’s all grown up and justifying their return to substance abuse because they’re retired. How does this affect Millennials? Well, severe health problems can be associated with drug abuse. Millennials deal with absent grandparents whom cannot be trusted with newborns or young children due to the cavalier attitudes toward their own responsibility. All of this is a recipe for disaster as Millennials face the normal stressors and burdens of family and career formation.

I suppose this message should be geared more toward those of my own generation. “Grow up!” Your children still require your guidance, wisdom and support. Stop bailing on the responsibilities of your own life and take charge so your children don’t have to. You still have a lot of life to live. Sobriety is not a dirty work rather it is commendable and strong message to those around you!!

Do not struggle through these highly conflictual life events alone. Individual counseling at Greater Chicago Counseling Center can help. Reach out to one of our therapists today to find relief and an empathic ear. Call or email us directly to set up an appointment today!